If You Tickle Us...

A stirring epic to the Battle of Bridge Lane when a small brigade of fedora headed irregulars headed by the provident leadership of General Ehrentreu overcame the well-entrenched positions of the Blackcoats and Redcaps commanded by Lieutenant Padwa. After placing guns on the strategic position of Simon’s Castle perched on Mount Defiance, in late evening of 6 December 2012 Homa’s Fort fell to the liberating army and the enemy was routed. Thus ended the rule of the slave owning confederacy of the south. By our resident Bard “A Broken Bochur” After days of repelling waves of relentless denials and obfuscations directed by the Kedassia cabal in beleaguered Fort GG, the exhilarating scene of a band of resolute GG Rabbonim galloping over the crest of the hill is a sight of beauty. Hurrah, the cavalry has arrived and the spectacle of the venerable Dayan Ehrentreu, sitting erect on his steed, his sharpened lance aiming directly at Padwa's midriff, should serve to scatter off the Kedassia

Public announcement signed by leading North West London rabbis that “the Rov concerned is not fit and proper to act in any Rabbinic capacity” and calls for the “merging of all the Shuls in North West London into one united body”. This is nothing less than going nuclear.

[Several people have complained that they cannot understand this post, so let me explain. This last Sunday I received a comment in 3 parts with a name to the comment. The commenter introduced himself as a professor in psychology (sic) in New York. He alleged that an enemy of Chaim Halpern has engaged in a tactic known as ‘pre-fiction-opinion’ and that ‘in excess of $20,000’ has been paid to a psychology professional to ‘design and conclude the tactic against the present victim.’ He claimed to ‘know’ this from Velvel’s comments. I thought the claim was utterly preposterous but nevertheless published it to allow the readers to decide. I then went on to read Parts II and III of the comment where the writer makes allegations that a specific psychologist in Cincinnati, Ohio ‘has published a named opinion against RCH’ and a lot more besides. After reading these further parts I could see they were written by a loon at best and so removed Part I. Shortly after, the same named commenter wrot

And so it appears that we have reached the endgame. Weeks of plotting and intrigue have left us a stage looking like the aftermath of a Greek tragedy. Halpern slain in one corner, Padwa struck down in another, his signet ring carrying the Kedassia seal beside him splattered in blood with another Halpern swinging his sword indiscriminately in the last throes of death. As for the other players, they are like dancers at a masked ball fading into the night, though unfortunately no assassin amongst them. Enough, probably too much, has been said about the accused and the nature of the allegations and it is time to move on. Let's ignore for a moment every one of the allegations of which the vast majority of us haven't heard first person. Let us also ignore every statement we haven't been given the opportunity to read, every meeting we didn’t attend and the many quotes from rabbonim we haven't spoken to. We shall instead concentrate on the few incontrovertible facts in this so